Jan 31, 2015


This post is going to be a bit awkward.

I noticed that if a guy gives me the right amount of attention and makes me feel special, I get a crush on him, even if I don't find him attractive. I've been on dates with people that I didn't like, whether it was their personality, appearance, or both. Over time I'm able to find things to love...but still, it feels like settling (not that I'm so great!). I'm not going to do that any more. It might mean I never find a partner, but I'm okay with that because right now the idea of getting to know someone with all the questions seems like too much work!

Not too long ago though I met a girl that was really cute and I found myself wanting to stare at her all night... and  I don't know what that means. I find more girls attractive than guys, but have never had a crush on one. Never really thought about a relationship with one. But now I'm curious. I started looking at girls that I find attractive, and a lot of them are just generally well dressed with a cute face or have sort of a punk/rock, creative, geeky look  - which made me realize I want to dress more like that!

So I went shopping. :p

My experience in the relationship world is pretty limited so I really don't know what I want yet. Maybe that means I -should- date more, and all different types, to find out, but it's just not a priority at the moment.

 Am I gay, straight, bi? Shouldn't I know by now? I don't really know, and it doesn't really matter. I'm open to whatever comes, when I'm ready.

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